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Thursday 9 June 2011

Forgotten?

This is written for Romantic Friday Writers based on the prompt "Forgotten".





You've all heard that your life flashes before your eyes in a near-death situation haven't you? Well if you haven't then Eddie will tell you that it's true. That's the down-side to not looking each way before you cross the road and...BANG! He's flying through the air, tumbling like an acrobat. Although it all happens in a matter of a couple of seconds, Eddie can't help but relive moments of his life.

Sad memories all return to his conscious mind: The death of his father, losing his drivers licence for speeding, his allergic reaction aged ten from a bee sting and even small things like eating foods he did not like, like cottage cheese or marmite. They all came to the fore.

Happy memories came also: Graduation, birthday parties, new years, his wedding day, the births of his children, ice cream as a child and his first love Nicky. He'd forgotten about her. She was his first kiss, his first relationship, his first... everything. How had he forgotten her? He was thirty seven and he had been in a relationship with her from sixteen to nineteen when she had decided their relationship was going nowhere. Even the smell of her returned to him, she always wore the same sweet smelling perfume...

The next thing he was aware of was his presence in the local emergency room. Doctors were lifting his eyelids and saying his name in a questioning tone.

"Edward?" He hated that name.
"It's Eddie."
"He's awake. Take him to the recovery room and send Doctor Hope to see him."
"Ugh..." He felt dizzy as he heard the wheels scuttling him to his destination.

Hours later he woke. "Hello Edward. How are you feeling?"
"Dizzy and it's Eddie."
"I know. Just checking you're still there."
"Where's my wife?" He asked as he opened his eyes to see a woman in a white doctor's suit.
"She's in Spain with your son, daughter and her mother."
"Oh yeah." He slowly realised that the voice was familiar. "Who are you?"
"I'm your doctor Nicky Hope."
"Nicky?" He opened his eyes to see the person he'd thought about as he flew through the air and whilst he was unconscious. His old emotions rekindled on first sight into a new flame that burned bright. He was excited, and concerned, as his emotions told him it will never go out... it is eternal.





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10 comments:

  1. This reminds me of an episode of Grey's Anatomy I saw last night Andy. I'm not quite sure if Eddie is dead or alive but I think you're hinting that he's in another world.

    Good to have you back at RFWers!

    Denise<3

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  2. Popped back in to do some sharing! Thought this was quite the little write... Glad to have discovered you :)

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  3. WoW! Great story Andy.
    Dr. Hope has rekindled all those old fires within him. Wonder why he wasn't thinking of his family when he flew through the air? My thinking is the wife's gone & left him & taken the kids to Spain. Hmm...there's definitely a hint of intrigue in this one.

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  4. Really liked this. My only nit-pick is that I think you start it in present tense, and shift to past tense in the middle - it would be stronger if you picked one and saw it all the way through.

    Nice way to bring his first love back in as his doctor.

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  5. I also feel that he's on the other side and I'm intrigued that maybe she is too! His flash of memory was well executed. I like this, Andy.

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  6. I am also unsure if he is alive or dead. Making a reader ask these kinds of questions is a good thing. It makes us turn the page to read more. In this case, there is no page. LOL

    I thought there were a few lines that could be tightened. Otherwise, well done.
    Nancy
    N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium

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  7. I do 'hope' there's more to this fascinating story!

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  8. Hi,

    Hee hee, first love never forgotten!

    Nice piece, and switch from present to past tense slips through OK if his passage is to the other side. What started as present tense one minute becomes past the next! ;)

    best
    F

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  9. Great story! I love how even the little details - like the food he didn't like -sprung to mind. Dare I "hope" that he will rekindle with Dr. Hope? Awful of me to say isn't it, since he has a wife and kids!

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  10. Great story - I really enjoyed the change of tenses... hope there's more to come of this one!
    Lx

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