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Friday, 20 May 2011

Romantic Friday Writers

This one is a gauntlet laid to enter a competition to write a short story using the word  "Lost " as your inspiration. Here it is - I've never written this genre of story before so I'd like to know how I've done.

Romantic Friday Writers





Searching For Her



  William stalked the dark streets, his eyes meeting the face of each stranger he passed, hoping above all to find the one he longed to see. She claimed to have left for the bathroom over an hour ago and her lack of return causing his current panicked state.

  "Selia!" He cried to the heavens in his search. The remotest locations were thoroughly checked. Strangely not one passer by offered assistance in his search. "Selia! Please! Where are you?" Transparent desperation shadowed him.

 Continuing down the streets he called her name to no avail. "Selia!" Why had she left? Where was she? What had he done? Williams head swarmed with questions he feared would never be answered. "Why?!" Falling to his knee he.covered his face with his hands and whispered. "I love you."

   Something tapped his shoulder. Was it her? "Selia?" He turned to see a man wearing black and florescent yellow uniform. "Sorry officer. I'll get up."
  "No need." The policeman replied awkwardly. "Who were you looking for sir?"
  "A woman. My..." He struggled to finish the sentence. Girlfriend? Muse? Soul mate? "She was wearing a red silk dress. We were having dinner together."
  "At The Nest restaurant?"
  "Yes. Why?" Hope lit up Williams eyes.

  The policeman took from his pocket a passport and read it aloud. "Miss Selia Braithwaite?"
  "Yes!" William cried with relief. "Where is she?"
  "I'm sorry to inform you  that she was found in the ladies bathroom stabbed to death. The culprit was discovered in the act by another customer."

  William froze. He'd lost her. He had searched his life for her. His one true love was lost after such a short time.Shedding the Nile in tears, he slowly found his feet.

  "Would you like to come with me sir? We'll need you to identify the body and..."
  "No." William interrupted. "I'd rather be alone."
  "If I could just take some details from you." William wordlessly  gave the policeman his drivers license which the officer hurriedly jotted the details of before returning to him. "Thanks. We'll be in touch."
   "Fine." William sobbed as he turned and wandered down the road.

  He reached a bridge where he halted. "I will be with you Selia." He whispered, climbing onto the bridge wall. "If not in this life then in the next. I won't lose you again." He jumped off the edge. plummeting into the depths below.

14 comments:

  1. Hi Andy! The small change has made a difference. Not easy to whittle down to 400 words is it. I enjoyed reading your story and am sorry he had to jump off a bridge, poor guy.

    Submission time is open - there is a huge difference between Australian time and American time, like 18 hours. Any time in that timeframe is fine.

    Welcome to Romantic Friday Writers. You've certainly been true to the theme, LOST.

    Denise<3

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  2. Oh no, such loss and despair! How awful that he couldn't cope with the thought of living without her.

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  3. Excellent! I wasn't expecting the ending. Love found and love lost.

    You did very well with this one.

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  4. Sad...and well written. I loved the line, shedding the Nile in tears. Nice to meet you.
    Nancy
    N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium

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  5. Wow! That's one passionate guy, whose desperation and loss I felt. Good job! Having a curious mind, only thing I wondered was whether he'd asked anybody to check the bathroom before assuming she'd left.

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  6. Oh my goodness! How wrenching. Quite a moving scene.
    Edge of Your Seat Romance

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  7. Hi,

    WOW! Touching piece of writing. Hits all the buttons for theme, not to mention the poor guy's broken heart.

    best
    F

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  8. Heart-breaking! So sad he jumped off the bridge, so lost he couldn't face life.

    Great job!!

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  9. cor blimey! Great read and hit the theme bang on the head - look forward to next weeks!
    Lx

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  10. A gripping tale, tragic ending making it heart wrenching.....great story!!

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  11. Here's my reposted poem for the theme "LOST"

    http://mypoetcharm.blogspot.com/2011/01/incomplete-without-you.html

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  12. Smashing, considering you haven't tried this genre. A nice little twist in the end - I thought for sure she'd just absconded out the bathroom window. Good job telling the story while staying within the word limit.

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  13. Andy, thought I'd share what happened to me earlier - I can't reach your blog thru your avatar. I had to come via Denise's site. A fellow blogger told me how to solve the problem. If you open your blog (not profile page) and click "sign in" under your gallery of followers, (as you're already signed in when you click to follow) what opens up allows you to add your URL that will be attached to your avatar. Hope it's okay to share this.

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  14. Heart wrenching! Losing someone when you've finally just found them, that is tragic. Great story, especially considering your new to this genre.

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