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Friday, 24 June 2011

The Fatal Wrong Conclusion

This weeks' theme is "Love Hurts"


William had been working overtime for months. His crystal wedding anniversary was approaching and he almost had the money for his gift to Catherine. She'd been pestering him asking why he was at work so much, but he never told her. They would be going on a luxury Caribbean cruise, renewing their wedding vows and he had arranged for their friend to surrogate a child for them as Catherine, for all her efforts, could not conceive. This was going to be a huge surprise. 

It was late when he got home. The he'd been working sixteen hours in the factory, packing chocolate for a living wasn't the ideal career path, but it paid the bills. Just the thought of the roast dinner Catherine would have prepared him made his mouth water, even though he would have to microwave it. Yet upon opening the door he wasn't greeted by the aroma of his favourite meal. Instead he saw the sight of his wife at the kitchen table, she could pass as asleep if it weren't for the crimson liquid puddled on the table, dripping to the floor, along with the gun next to her lifeless hand. In front of her on a plate lay a note, placed upon it was her wedding ring.


We've been married for nearly fifteen years now and neither of us are getting any younger. I know I could never provide you with children, however much our hearts desired them. I see now where you have been. You don't need to work as much as you say you are and I haven't seen any of the extra money, which leads me to conclude that it doesn't exist. I can only hope you enjoy your life with your new woman, perhaps she can provide what I can't. I just wish you could have told me, maybe we could have sorted something out about surrogacy or adoption. It's too late now. I hope your future wife can provide what I couldn't. May all your wishes come true. Just know that I will watch over and protect you and any children you may have. I love you. Goodbye.

All my love


Tears streamed down Williams' cheeks as he read. He placed Catherin's ring back upon her finger, took the gun and placed it to his temple. "Our children will live in heaven my sweet Catherine."


Word count: 400

I'm terrible I know. My stories always involve pain and death but hey, this theme calls for that. I still can't write romance but I promise I'm trying.


  1. My goodness! What a roller-coaster ride you took me on. I wasn't expecting the twist at the end.
    I can understand keeping the cruise a secret, but the surrogate...that's huge. Nobody wins in this tale. So sad.

    By the way, for some reason, even though I'm following, your post updates are not appearing on my dashboard. Don't know what's up with that. I'm going to stop following you, then follow you again to see if it changes.

  2. Hi,

    OMG, this is tragedy with a big T!

    Bloody word count restrictions: who thought that one up? I now have so many questions to ask, like whose gun? Did she write the note? Was she murdered? Has the surrogate mum got her eye on the husband. Too late if she had, admittedly, but one hell of a flash fiction ITV's Midsomer Murder style is this piece. I'm now imagining a thatched roof cottage, and Barnaby sauntering along a rose-edged path to Wisteria strewn porchway.

    Love Hurts well-covered in this tragic cameo!


  3. Oh NOOOO!! Super piece! How awful - the suspicion and conclusion, when all he was doing was out of love. So sad. I was gripped throughout.

  4. Hi AndyM! Nice to meet you.

    You made me cry with that post, and so early in the morning too. Oh, what twist to what could have been a happy solution to their wanting to have a child.

    The ending reminds me of Romeo and Juliet - tragic death by both lovers~

  5. Andy, I really, really like this. It's like The Gift of the Magi, but no happy ending. Each making secret sacrifices for the other.

    I love that we stay in his head in the first part - I could smell trouble coming, with him keeping those secrets. I thought she's be gone though, not dead, though from the story point of view (if not the human one) the suicide is a better ending. Nice job!

  6. This is the ultimate hurt - a tragedy caused by misunderstanding and secrets. Excellent!

  7. Oh dear, I didn't expect that at all. So sad.

  8. Oh no! How horrible and so well written. I can hear all your readers yelling at you and begging for more. Great job!
    N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium

  9. A dark piece, and yet it fits the theme, of course. And it actually mirrors the occasional (and horrific) murder/suicides that pop up in real life as the result of jealousy, misunderstanding, and/or despair. Top-notch writing! (I might leave off the last word, "bang".) :)